The
Scripts: Savior or Rescuer
Remember the kid
in school who always went and told on your classmates? Did you notice that it was usually the
same kid who was picking on other kids who went to “tattle” on the teacher’s
pet? We call him the “
Savior” or the “Rescuer” in the drama triangle. Can’t you just remember him waiting around for you to
accidentally drop your pencil? He
would blurt out in class that you were “Out of your seat without permission.” He just wanted to help the teacher do
her job, right?
How did the
teacher react?
Did she see
through his clever plan? Did she
remember that he was the actual bully?
Why did he seem to think that the adult teacher needed that extra bit of
help to find out what you were doing? Why did he feel the need to portray you as a hooligan
anyways? You weren’t doing anything really bad. You were just trying to get your pencil right? This is the third part of the “Drama
Triangle, or Victim Triangle,” that we have been discussing in other
articles. Dr. Steven Carpman
conceptualized the drama triangle in the 1960’s. This is a great way to see what motivates people.
People tend to
start using these scripts because they do not really want to learn a
lesson. They are stuck in the
process of learning to be responsible for their actions. Their family and friends may actually
expect them to grow up and stop doing bad things in the future, so they blame
others for their own behaviors. This
lets them live in an ongoing habit of finding some fault in the people around
them as the reason for their behaviors. The three points on the triangle are labeled Persecutor,
Victim and Rescuer. Before I found
out that it was Dr. Carpman’s theory, I called them Bully, Victim and Savior. The savior role is the most entertaining
to me.
I remember kids
in my past job that always wanted to “help” their caregivers by pointing out
the behaviors of other kids. They
would then justify their “right” to act up, because of the things the other
kids had done. It was a constant “bait
and switch” scheme. I learned to
help kids with the drama triangle by telling them that they were safe to learn
a lesson. I told them that if they
accepted responsibility for their actions, they would be adding something to
the inside of their personality.
This would make their personality grow, and heal from things that are
hurting right now. I told them
that the next time something like this happens they will be more grown up. I told them it would be a little bit
easier to handle the stress next time, and it would not hurt as much.